The Things We Never Say Book Club Questions
10 discussion questions for The Things We Never Say by Elizabeth Strout.
October 18, 2026
Spoiler warning: some questions touch on how the book ends. Best read after you've finished it.
Discussion questions
- What do you think motivates Artie Dam's dedication to teaching and his interactions with his students?
- How does the Massachusetts Bay setting contribute to Artie's sense of isolation and introspection throughout the novel?
- What are your thoughts on Artie's relationship with his wife? How do their interactions reflect the theme of knowing and not knowing one another?
- When Artie discovers the secret life has been hiding from him, how does this revelation impact his view of his past and his relationships?
- Do you believe Artie's response to the secret he discovers is justified? Why or why not?
- Discuss the significance of Artie's sailboat trips. What do they symbolize in his life?
- How did you interpret the ending of the book? Do you think Artie finds peace with the mysteries of life?
- Elizabeth Strout uses a third-person narrative to tell Artie's story. How does this perspective influence your understanding of his internal conflicts?
- Have you ever experienced a moment similar to Artie's where you felt disconnected from those around you? How did you handle it?
- Do you think the book's title, "The Things We Never Say," accurately captures its themes and message? Why?
These questions were drafted with AI help for book clubs using Lapwing.
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